MARIAH CAREY TO LAUNCH FITNESS VIDEO.....

Singer Mariah Carey hopes to release a fitness video - to show the world how she successfully shed almost thirty pounds. She recently put herself on a strict training regime to help her lose weight, after noticing she looked 'bulky' on TV and in photographs.

She says: "I think people should be a size where they're comfortable with but when you're constantly having your picture taken and on TV like I am, well I could see I really did need to lose some of the bulk. I might be doing a workout video, which will be a big joke anyway, but I can show how I did it. I still have curves, though."

This is probably the most hilarious news I've heard all damn day. How To Airbrush Your Body Workout with a Touch My Body Touch-Up is a quite fitting title for a work out DVD. One of the reasons being - I can't even imagine Mariah working up a sweat or allowing us to see her sweat and get all hot and bothered. The heffa won't even move on stage never mind a workout which can be pretty much grueling. Don't be surprised to see a posing Mariah getting liposuction instead of flexing herself out with lunges and airbrushing six packs on her stomach instead of doing crunches. She's gonna be posing throughout the whole video while someone else does the actual instructing. On the music front, I'm sure you Mariah lambs have all heard her two bonus tracks 4real4real and Heat that have just been leaked.

Discuss.